Undecided
by ImperfectionIsPerfection
Summary: Carly has a decision to make. It affects her life, Sam's and Freddie's. Should she be selfish or selfless? Features WOWP!


_**Carly's pov

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_**He likes you, you like him. Why do you have to make things so complicated?**_ That thought just kept on running through my mind. He likes me? I like him? Well that would explain why he asked me out 3 times. But if I liked him, why did I deny him a chance? _**Your scared!**_ Stupid conscience, I cant be scared. _**Sure you can.**_ No I can't. _**YES you can, don't make me mad at you.**_ That would be stupid, you would be mad at yourself then. _**Well at least I'm not talking to my conscience.**_ Who else can I talk to? _**Oh I don't know?**_ _**Him**_. Yeah, 'cause that would go great wouldn't it? He has barely even spoken to me. Year 7 was ok. We spoke a bit then, thanks to Sam. But then he asked me out, and he wouldn't talk to me. Then randomly asking me out in Year 8, we had said nothing to each other all year. While on school holidays, he asks me out again. We were getting on so great and he just had to ruin it. So talking to him about maybe liking him is not a good idea. He would ask me out again, and I would say no again. _**Come on, you need to give him a chance.**_ Why? So he can use me and break my heart, I don't think so. _**No so he can help you, make you happy.**_ Not a chance in hell of that happening.

Sam walked in, interrupted my inner battle, as I like to call it. "You thinking of Freddie?"

"NO! Why would you even suggest that?" Ok I know I was, but I'm not admitting it. I may have though, since my voice was just a bit higher, and I kinda spoke to soon and too fast. Sam would find out anyway. "Ok. I like him. There you happy?"

"Absolutely!" And she did seem happy. For me or her I'm not sure. She came in a happy mood, must have something to do with her crush. "You should ask him out."

"Really?"

"Well yeah. He always asks you out, you should ask him. He lives across the hall. And he has started talking to you again. We're all BFF's, kind of. I told her I had to think it over.

A couple of weeks has past, and we really are best friends forever now. I could never tell him I like him, and in the end I didn't. Until I had a dream. It was how our life would be if we went out. I decided to go and ask him.

Walking into his house, he said I could go in any time. My eyes were drawn to the couch. Freddie was in the middle of a heated kissing session with someone. I noticed she was blonde, hmm kinda like Sam. Could this be Sam? Would she betray me? I turned around and walked out, making sure to slam the front door.

More weeks has past, and nobody told me anything. They would take off to be together, leaving me alone. Eventually I developed a little crush on Jake, and when he sang at iCarly, while I was listening to the earphones, it was amazing. But kissing Freddie, even on the nose, was much more pleasant. Now I was _**Undecided. **_I could tell him I like him, and ruin whatever him and Sam have. Or I could be a good friend and let them be together. I decided to ask Sam what she thought of Freddie.

"Sam, what do you think of Freddie?" We were at 1 of our sleepovers, and she was drinking some coke. Was being the appropriate word. Once those words left my mouth, my bedroom floor had a pool of coke on it. I'm gonna say she was surprised. "What do you mean?" was the reply I got. Surprised it is. I'm going to have to tell her I know.

"I know you and Freddie are erm doing whatever you are . Kissing and stuff. Are you dating?"

"I think so Carly. I really like him, more than I like that freak who used me."

"He does have a name."

"Yes, but I don't have to say it."

"Okay..."

"Hmm. Mama's hungry! Do you have ham?"

"We always have ham Sam." I had to struggled to say it clearly, since I was laughing to hard. Sam always could make me laugh. Well now I know what to do. I just need to do it!

I told Sam I was going for a walk. Luckily, It wasn't that late so she didn't question it. I knocked on Freddie's door, I didn't want to see something I shouldn't. Again.

"Come in!" I walked in. Freddie was in only jogging pants, and his top was nowhere in sight. This was going to be difficult.

"Freddie, it's Carly. We need to talk!"

"Ok." He walked towards me, still without a shirt, and shut the door. Moving to the couch we both sat in an awkward silence.

"So, what do we need to talk about Carly?" I wanted to thank him for not wearing a shirt, but that would of made it even more awkward.

"You...and Sam!" I knew he knew I knew. If that made sense.

"Okay...?" He made it sounded like a question, maybe I should explain myself.

"I saw you two kissing!" That was all I really needed to say.

"Ok, well we're sorta dating now."

"Ok then. Well see you for iCarly tonight!"

I walked out devastated, even though I knew he would say it. He had being acting abnormal around me lately. I just can't believe they would keep this a secret from me. Was I that bad as a friend? Didn't they trust me? Ok asking rhetorical questions is pointless, no one is hearing them beside me. Sam would tell me the truth, and I needed to hear it. I walked back into mine and Spencer's apartment, and saw Sam on the couch eating her ham. "That was a fast walk."

"Yeah, very eventful...." I trailed off trying to word this correctly. "Sam?"

"Yeah..." She was distracted by the tv.

"Can you tell me how you and Freddie got dating please, the whole story?" I knew I needed to hear it, and I think she could tell with my tone of voice. I was almost pleading her.

"Ok I think you need to know. Remember when you had that crush on Jake?" I nodded, showing her I was listening and silently asking her to continue. "Well, you kept on hanging out with him, and me and Freddie got bored of hiding in our places doing nothing. So we decided to go to the movies, it was an awesome movie. And then we just kept on doing it every Wednesday night. On the other nights we'd just walk to the park or shop or spend time around his. My mum didn't want people around, she had a new bikini she needed to get used to and I wanted to spare Freddie that image. We would hang out every day. You did spend a lot of time with Jake. 3 weeks was it?" I nodded again, aghast that I spent that much time with him. It only felt like 4 days. But he was cute, just not Freddie. I shook my thoughts away and concentrated on her voice. "the whole dating thing kinda started by accident. We were in one of our pointless arguments in the supermarket. I needed ham." I laughed at this. "Anyway, this old couple came up to us and told us we reminded them of when they were younger. Said they wished us the best for our relationship and went. Proper shook us up. Then we kinda just started seeing each other in a different light. We were at the movies, for some reason it was a romance. We just kissed and then everything was like cement. We knew how we felt about each other. We then became like FWB." Upon seeing my confused face and hearing these letters, she explained. "Friends with benefits. We would kiss frequently, but never get past that. It was 2 weeks without you that we got kinda serious. We were just kissing, and his tongue touched my lip accidentally. I automatically opened my mouth, and we started making out. We carried on making out all through the week. On that Friday, he official asked me to be his girlfriend. We didn't see you for another week, and we thought it might freak you out. Also I wasn't sure if you had gotten over your crush on him. When I saw you kiss his nose, I knew you kinda had. Not fully, but close. I don't think you realised that though." I nodded for the third time.

"It's ok. I'm so over him." Sam smiled and accepted my little white lie. Now that she said it, I realised I wasn't so in love with him, but I wasn't over him. I would get over him though. Sam deserved to be happy.

After all that happened. I felt a lot like the 3rd wheel. Where ever we went, they were holding hands or kissing. They went places without me. iCarly was even more awkward. Sam would make dreamy eyes at Freddie, and I was hardly even on camera. It got so bad people nicknamed it iSeddie. I still wasn't over my crush, so I was boiling with jealousy. My jealousy made me take a turn into a bar. I found a few cute boys, and danced the night away. I started rebelling against everything I was. I came home around 2 o'clock in the morning, if I even returned. Sometimes I would end up at school, halfway through the school day in yesterdays clothes. I still looked presentable, and I was still getting all my grades. I wasn't a goody goody anymore though. I had learnt to take care of myself, and if someone came up to me when I was in a mood, they quickly backed away with a broken nose. None of that matter, what mattered the most was that no one cared. Spencer was clueless, he rarely came to school meetings and always was a deep sleeper. As more my best friends, they were to busy with the saliva to care about little me. I turned bitter. Jake wouldn't even be seen in public talking to me. I quickly learnt who I could trust. No one. Until the new guy turned up at school. He was a mystery, and I liked that. We soon based our lives around each other. It was fun. I slowly turned into my old self. I had another web show, just us 2. We just set a camera on a tripod, and added the effects after. It wasn't live, but it came on the same time every week. I rarely saw 'Seddie' and I didn't want to.

When I turned 16, me, Spencer and my new boyfriend Justin Russo and his family moved to Waverly Place. I forgot all about my old life, and focused on the positive. We still did out web show, and it was quickly turning into a hit. I loved every minute of it. And I wouldn't changed it at all, I realised I didn't love Freddie, I never did. I just liked the attention he gave me. That may make me sound vain or selfish but not many people gave me much attention. But Justin was all I needed, and Alex, his sister, and I soon became best friends. Harper joined out gang, and we all did the web show together.

My life was awesome after that. Until we got a letter in the post, someone wanted us and iSeddie to join up for a 1 episode. I spoke to the guys, and explained everything. It would be awesome to do, but was I ready? I wasn't sure. Justin persuaded me it would be a good thing, so we sent a reply saying we would love too.

The next week, we got another letter saying iSeddie wanted to do it too, and if February 14th would be convenient for us. We sent them an email this time, saying we were and couldn't wait and all the other things we were supposed to say. Inside, I was freaking out. How was this going to work out?

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Sorry for any spelling mistakes or anything. I kinda just wrote this, it wasn't really supposed to be a story, just a random drabble that I was going to delete once I wrote it. It started out with my feelings for the thoughts bit. I randomly decided to turn it into a story. Tell me if you think it was a good idea, or I should of just kept it as a drabble please Thanks for reading. I own nothing.


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